Very Important People

You know THOSE people. The ones who think that they are more important than YOU, simply because they are...well, THEM? I met a few of 'em at Disney World last weekend. They were right behind me in the line for the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. If you've ever stood in lines at Disney, you know how they work—they're usually long, and wind through various rooms so you can't see how far it is to the front. However, the lines generally move quickly, because the Disney cast members (they're not employees, they're cast members) load the rides with precision. They've got everyone for the next ride lined up before the empty one comes back so there's no downtime. The ride designers usually put amusing stuff on the walls so you have something to look at while you're waiting, and—for the rides with the longest lines—there's often a sign at the entrance to the ride letting you know how long you might expect to wait. If the line's a long enough one, you get to know the people in line with you and chat about what other rides and parks they've visited. So it's not such a bad experience to wait.

But these girls in line for Pirates? Let's say I was simply stunned by their brilliance as they waited to sit in a boat and see Johnny Depp automatons. I'll delete their names to protect their VIP identities:

Girl A, to the others: Just shove up along the side. These people are walking too slow.

Girl B, pointing with the straw to her smoothie: No, no, I'll trip on that kid up there. Go the other way.

Girl A: Huh?

Girl D: What kid? Gawd, they're everywhere.

Girl C: If people would just push the line would go faster. I swear! Look at that space up there!

Girl C then proceeds to sidestep a kid who's very patiently waiting in line next to his parents. Girls A, B, and D follow.

I step sideways to body block them. Subtly. I realize they're more important than anyone who might be standing in line in front of them and that this may send me to Disney Hell, but the parent of the kid in front of me looks at the floor and grins.

Girl A rolls her eyes. Girls B, C, and D let out loud, exasperated sighs.

BTW, must share another great line from line-hopping VIPs this weekend: "Omigod. Did you SEE what she said?"

I swear, VIPs like this were simply put on Earth for my personal entertainment.

Have you ever had a close encounter with a VIP? What did you do? Do you find VIPs entertaining? Annoying? Or are YOU a VIP? (C'mon. 'fess up.)

Me, I'm sure I've NEVER been guilty of such behavior