Nic vs. Nature

For the last three months (yes, MONTHS) I've had the worst kind of writing distraction. No one believes me when I tell them, either.

It's a chipmunk. Yes, really.

He has several holes in the flowerbed under the window of my home office. He's tunneled all around the bulkhead in the rear of my house, and he has two separate entrances to his chipmunk condo, located under my front stairs. He makes squeaky sounds all day long, attaining the greatest volume when he's sitting on my front stairs, in full view of my dog, Tipper. I think he does it specifically to torture her. Tipper sits by the front door and barks back, frustrated that she can't get the chipmunk, looking at me for help.

When it all started, I plugged up the chipmunk holes and emptied the bird feeder. I figured removing any food sources would deter the chipmunk. Maybe get him thinking about staking a claim to a large area in the woods behind my house, where he could build an entire chipmunk mansion without bothering anyone. No luck.

A nine-year-old kid in my neighborhood showed me a great trap, one that can catch a chipmunk without hurting it, so the animal can be re-released elsewhere. I dutifully set out the trap, baiting it with raisins and a couple Cheese Nips. Two days later, I caught a chipmunk. Wrong one. (Too small.) I drove that one out to a wooded area a few miles from my house, found a nice spot near a reservoir, and let it go.

I re-baited the trap, figuring if I could catch one chipmunk, surely I'd catch THE chipmunk. But no dice. After a few days, the neighborhood kid needed his trap back--he'd promised it to a relative with chipmunk problems--so I continued to plug the holes while I searched local hardware stores for a similar trap.

Finally, a couple weeks ago, I found the same exact trap at a hardware store I'd already visited. On night one, nothing happened. Night two, I caught a (very frightened) mouse, so I took him deep into the woods and let him go. On night three, nothing. But on day four, I caught two chipmunks--at once! I got excited for about a minute...when I saw that, once again, I hadn't caught Mr. Big. These were both little. Again, I drove the creatures out to a wooded area, but they managed to poop in my car en route (now I know to put newspaper under the trap when I transport it.)

For the next three days, the trap stayed empty. I decided to move it, camouflage it with leaves, and put extra raisins inside. Mr. Big found it, but proved he's smarter than I am. He tipped it over, knocked out the raisins, and then dug a hole directly under the trap.

So now I'm back to square one. Right at this moment, Mr. Big is sitting on my front step, torturing the dog while I try to write. I think he's actually enjoying it; if chipmunks could laugh, Mr. Big would be howling up a storm.

Any ideas? If you send me an idea that actually works, I'll send you a free autographed copy of any Niki Burnham book--your choice. I might even draw a picture of a chipmunk in it!

tiny bubbles...

Here is how today went.

8-3pm: life as usual: cereal, email, Television Without Pity, editing for my Media Bistro class
3pm: pack necessities (two outfits plus alternates, and a few contingency outfits, plus schoolwork, toiletries, meds, special hypo-allergenic dogfood, etc) in a rolley-suitcase, haul dog plus suitcase downtown.
3:30pm: arrive downtown, feel overwhelmed and frustrated by omni-presence of rolley-suitcase in life. call N to complain about the perceived irrationality of maintaining two separate apartments. get put in place by N, who has an office job and must deal with such meltdowns off the clock.
6:00pm: despite grumpiness, agree to stick to original plan of chili and football, with the caveat that N must bring chili ingredients home himself. N agrees, asks if i can run the dishwasher.

i can. but.

i actually NEVER used the dishwasher when i was growing up and never had one as an adult (not yet, anyway), so i am not innately familiar with its mysterious intricacies.

i looked for the dish detergent, but couldn't find any. all N had was a bottle of what looked like Palmolive.

now, I'm pretty sure Palmolive is NOT meant for the dishwasher. Like, seventy-three percent sure. so i call N, but he doesn't answer. i debate waiting until he comes home to run the machine, decide that after my attack of brat this afternoon i'd rather not be seen as lazy, too. decide to run machine with Palmolive.

(i was very savvy about it; only used about half the amount, to be safe).

7:22pm: come downstairs to find kitchen floor SUBMERGED in bubbles in vein of 80's romantic comedy (about people who frolic in kitchens, i suppose).

8:02pm: N comes home, finds me on the ground squeegie-ing up the bubbles with a baking sheet and tossing them onto the patio. somehow resists the urge to suggest that i return to my separate apartment, laughs.

chili-making commences.

9:30pm: chili-eating ensues.

and, scene.

MIA with a good excuse...

There have been very few (translation: no) posts from Erin Downing in the last few months and for that I apologize. I promise you there are many good excuses for that. Most notably, the picture I've included in this entry, which features my brand-new-fresh-out-of-the-oven twins and my charming toddler...who knew I was old enough to be responsible for THREE kids?! Twin A and Twin B (aka Henry and Ruby) were born a month ago today and things have been a little nuts. Apologies for my absence on the blog.

But wait! I do have extremely exciting news on the book front. A very wonderful TV network (who shall remain nameless for now) has decided to "option" Prom Crashers, which means there is a possibility it could someday be made into a TV movie! Of course, a millions stars need to align (and a million TV executives need to give it the green light) before we break out the champagne, but this is the first exciting step to a possible TV future for my prom crashing friends. I couldn't be more thrilled!

Later,
E.

Contests for readers and writers...

Nice approach! You win the prize for Best Email Opener by a Cousin Asking for Auburn Tickets...

This is an e-mail from my cousin, who's in charge of tickets to sports events at my alma mater. I love winning a contest I didn't even know I'd entered! Now my husband and his BFF get to go to the Auburn vs. LSU game, and I never have to wash dishes again.

I can't offer you Auburn tickets or a lifetime of clean dishes, but here are a few contests going on now for readers and writers.

For readers...

Teens Read Too is offering five free copies of MAJOR CRUSH and THE BOYS NEXT DOOR, plus lots of other YA novels. Sign up by October 31 for the drawing. And congratulations to Kate, Tiffany, Brent, Alexandra, and Brenna, who won copies of my books in September! They're in the mail as of this morning. (Really.)

For readers nominating writers...

Nominations are open for the 2007 Cybils, "the only literary awards by bloggers." Anyone can suggest a book, so click here to make sure your favorite YA novel of the year has been nominated!

For writers...

The Gayle Wilson Award of Excellence, sponsored by the Birmingham-based writers' group Southern Magic, has a YA category. Plus, I am the contest coordinator. So on its way to the hands of our judges--avid readers, librarians, and booksellers--your book will have the privilege of getting my fingerprints all over it and then sitting in my laundry room for a few days. Don't worry, the Tide is on the opposite counter. Click here for all the info and a downloadable entry form, or e-mail me with questions at echolsjenn@yahoo.com.

The National Readers' Choice Awards are also open. And if you write romantic comedy, of course you've already entered the RITAs. Right?

Edited to add: THE BOYS NEXT DOOR just won the coolest prize of all: the approval of the teen reviewers at flamingnet.com. And a dragon!

Happiness is a dreary Tuesday...

Well, despite the fact that I have been absolutely drowning in work, there's been some funnage going on of late, as well.

For starters, N and I celebrated two years last night, for which I was gifted 24 roses (it took me WAY too long to realize that it was one per month since we'd met; I've never been one for math) and a lovely dinner at Top Chef Season One winner Harold's restaurant Perilla. Olive oil poached sea bass=YUM.

We also had the pleasure of attending the first ever Kidlitosphere conference this past weekend in Chicago (http://www.robinbrande.com/1st-annual-kidlitosphere-conference-rsvp-list/), where we got to meet and chat with some very cool people, including Laini Taylor & her illustrator hubby, Ysebeau Wilce, Barry Lyga, Robin Brande, Esme Codell, and a zillion others that I am leaving out only because, well, the attendee list is included in the link above. But rest assured, a great time was had by all, and I'm looking forward to next year in Portland.

Alas, N and I are missing from any group pic you might find online, as Saturday night we missed the group dinner to hit the US premiere of "Tehilim" at the Chicago Film Festival! I wore fabulous shoes and N Q&A'd the eve away. Then it was back to the hotel for some much needed room service and r & r.

Meanwhile, my Media Bistro students are KICKING my butt--in the best possible way, that is. They rock so hard, and came to class super-prepared. I am going to have to stay on my toes for the next 11 weeks.

And finally, I am thrilled as peaches to announce that CRUSH DU JOUR releases today! It's my third S&S romantic comedy, with a fun (IMHO, anyway) cooking theme. So, you know, pick up a copy and get cooking! (sorry).

Now, back to my regularly scheduled manuscripting.

Murphy's Law...Rules!

I tend to have my characters start off with a big change. In Getting to Third Date, Katelyn goes to college, in my Salem Witch series, Pru has to change coasts, schools and her whole way of living. In my yet-to-be-irrevocably titled nanny book coming out next fall, my character has to get used to living with a whole new (strange) family -- and being responsible for a pair of headstrong twins. In the book I just handed off, after yet another round of revisions, someone dies and someone doesn't (which may be the biggest change of all).

Writers tend to notice the themes they write about after a few books. And then, of course, ask why. My why is pretty easy to uncover -- as I child I never lived in one place more than a few years. I was born in Charleston, SC while my father was still finishing college at the The Citadel. After he graduated and got a job, my parents moved out to a suburb called Goose Creek (really!). And then, for the biggie, when I finished first grade (and when my youngest sister was 6 weeks old), we moved twelve hours north to Delaware. After three years, my dad was transferred to SC (Florence, this time). We stayed there for four years -- but I went to three schools because I did 5th and 6th grade at the elementary school across the street, my first year of junior high at the in-town junior high and then was bussed for eighth grade to the big new school on the outskirts of town. It wasn't until we moved back to Delaware that I finally stayed put...for four years, at least, until I went to college and began the ritual of moving dorm and apartment almost yearly until my husband, daughter and I ended up in Maine, at last. We've been here twenty years. Longer than I've lived anywhere (my husband lived in his family home from birth to twenty, so he's just even).
So, naturally, when my youngest graduated high school, I noticed I was itching to change my circumstances (moving house is the best way to clean and organize *ever*). DH can't move, he's got a job that needs him here (bummer, dude). So my compromise? I'm headed here:

Yep. Really. I'm only going for six weeks...at first.... But I'm going to look for work writing for TV. Wish me luck!

Oh...and the Murphy's law part? There are certain things I know about my life, and one is that I always pick the longest line. Always. I always get the wrong order at the drive-thru window if I don't check before I drive away. And my timing at stop lights and traffic circles -- and really, for anything -- is almost always off.

Like now. When I have the plane tickets. The place to stay. Two fabulous conferences to go to. Friends who will go out to lunch with me (or so they say). It is "Houston, we have a go!" ...except that it looks like the WGA is going to strike (that's the writer's union for film and television writers). And strikes mean you can't work (or if you do you're a scab, and I wouldn't do that because I think unions do mostly good things).

Now, one thing I know about Murphy's Law. It has taught me a lot through the years (patience, the proper way to proceed through a four-way stop when you all get there at once, and which checkout clerk to always avoid at the grocery store). So, what is it teaching me this time? I'm really not sure. I suspect it has something to do with making contacts (everything about work in Hollywood is about contacts -- my personal skill at making and following up contacts is dreadful). I suspect this trip will be all about meeting people and then (horrors!) remembering them by face and name and following up with friendly reminders that I want to write for them.

Or maybe it's another lesson altogether. Guess I'll figure it out after I come back (which won't be until December). I'll let you know then.

Until then, though, here's the game plan: meet as many people as I can who can hire me (or know some one who knows someone who may be able to hire me). I have one ultimate connection goal in mind: meeting Rob Thomas (the Veronica Mars Rob Thomas, not the singer Rob Thomas). Did you know he was a Simon Pulse author, too? I just read his Rats Saw God and loved it. So now he's my new (imaginary) BFF. You have to understand, everything in Hollywood is connection -- and Rob and I have a major connection, don't you think? We both wrote for Simon Pulse (sure, there's a gap where he became a big wheel writer-producer and I...didn't...but really, what's a small gap between writer-house-buds?).

Having put that out into the universe, another writer might expect to run into Thomas and be instantly taken under his wing because of the deep, profound and unbreakable connection. I, however, count on Murphy. This is how my brush with Rob Thomas with go:

Starbucks. Line out the door. Oblivious woman reads book in line as it slowly crawls forward. Man bumps into her as he carries out a Venti Mocha Latte.

MAN
Sorry.

WOMAN (looks up from book and smiles faintly)
No problem.

Man walks away.

GUY IN LINE BEHIND WOMAN
Hey, wasn't that Rob Thomas?

WOMAN WITH GUY IN LINE BEHIND WOMAN
That Veronica Mars guy? Yeah. I hear he's bringing back Cupid.

Woman shoos away a bee and keeps reading. Line moves forward. Woman orders a Venti Caramel Macchiato. EXITS.

And the bride wore red

Last weekend I went to NYC because I was in the wedding of my best friend from high school in Alabama. Here are my husband and me at the wedding rehearsal on the rooftop of an apartment building in Hell's Kitchen:
Here is the bride chugging a prenuptial Red Bull:

Here is the funky wedding cake (lots of chocolate layers inside!!!):

Here is the bride spinning fire at the reception:

She did remove her veil first for reasons of safety and inflammability.

It was by far the most fun wedding I've ever attended. But the best thing about it was how every careful detail reflected the bride and groom's personalities.

Personally, I am allergic to tradition, attention, fashion, and taffeta--everything weddings are made of. So my husband and I eloped to Hawaii (which reflected our personalities, too). But I know chicks exist who dream for years of their wedding day. I roomed with one of these people in college. There was a lot of bridal mag scattered about on the dorm room floor and a lot of "Jenn, which dress do you like better--this white one, or this white one?" *eyes crossing*

How about you? Are you a virtual wedding planner? Or, if your dad is like mine and offers you cash NOT to have a public ceremony, will you take the money and run?

adaptation

One of my favorite movies is "Adaptation," the crazy Charlie Kauffman-Spike Jonze tale of a neurotic writer, his (possibly imaginary) twin brother, an orchid thief, a journalist, and the act of writing itself. I don't know if I would like the film as much as I do if I weren't a writer. There are some scenes where I identify so greatly with the protagonist (like when he can't sit down to write because he keeps thinking he needs a muffin) that it's creepy. One of the things I love best about the movie is how it plays with the idea of adaptation--both in the sense of evolution(thus the orchids), adapting a movie into a screenplay, and just adapting, adjusting to change in general.

I think humans are amazingly adaptive animals. That's a line I've just written into the new book I'm working on. I'm thinking a lot about change and adjustment now that I've finally moved into my own place. I posted over the summer about my search for an apartment. And now here I am! I found a lovely light-filled studio on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. It's not my favorite neighborhood, but a lot of close friends live nearby, and most importantly, the space feels big and airy, with enough room for my mammoth desk, my bookshelves, my shoe collection, and hopefully, for the dinner parties I plan to have! And it's mine. Eek. It's still very odd to come home to an empty apartment, to not have to listen for a roommate's key in the door. It's both wonderful and strange, freeing and a little lonely. On the one hand, I can sprawl out on the couch wearing whatever as I watch THE HILLS. I can be up at all hours typing in my bed without fear of waking someone. On the other hand, when there's that story I just HAVE to tell someone right away, or a purchase I'm bursting to show someone (I just bought the cutest lamp at Pottery Barn...) it's not quite as satisfying to do so over the phone. I know it's just an adjustment process, though. It takes a while before anyplace starts to feel like home. And a home you can write in...well, that's almost a whole other story.

The GOOD Girls of Hollywood

In my upcoming Ro Com, LOVE, HOLLYWOOD STYLE, the main character, Tracy, has an encounter with the newest Hollywood “It Girl,” a fictional actress named Christy Caldwell. When I wrote Christy I made it clear that, while she certainly has a rebellious streak, she is most definitely not a party girl celebrity like so many of those lost souls we hear about all the time on the news ... particularly on the news in Los Angeles. (Seriously. Lead story on the local news almost nightly. Unless we get a rainstorm, which the reporters here react to in much the same way East Coast newsies report on a blizzard. I once heard a reporter warn, “It’s raining hard enough to make puddles!” But I digress.)

The most annoying thing is that these stories are usually about four very specific young women. Hardly anybody seems to talk about all the many other fine young actresses/entertainers out there, so I thought it might be nice to give a few of them some mention here. (This is only the tip of the Hollywood iceberg, mind you. And please forgive me if I reference someone with her own scandal. I can only be up on so much Hollywood gossip at one time.)

First, my personal fave ... Mandy Moore. I didn’t consciously base Christy Caldwell on Mandy Moore, but every time I picture the character in my head, I see Mandy playing her. Ms. Moore darn near broke my heart in A Walk to Remember, but I will always love her for her hysterical villainous performances in The Princess Diaries and Saved! (And speaking of The Princess Diaries, Anne Hathaway is seriously poised to be the next major Hollywood player. Agree? Disagree? Abstain?)

She might not always choose the best movie roles to showcase her talent, but Amanda Bynes is making a pretty impressive transition from TV to film. As many people have said, she was a total standout in Hairspray this summer. The best part is she’s a comic actress not afraid to look silly ... a trait she has in common with another standout, the Emmy award winning America Ferrera from Ugly Betty. And I don’t mean the bushy eyebrows and braces make Ms. Ferrera look silly. They actually make her look normal. It’s the poncho, the butterfly costume, and the constant walking into glass walls that are the comic gems.

Jennifer Hudson’s journey from American Idol castoff to Oscar winner has got to be one of the strangest career paths in Hollywood history. I was never a fan of Sex and the City (Okay, you can get off the floor now), but I may go to the movie just to see what she does next as Sarah Jessica Parker’s assistant. And kudos to Ms. Parker for transitioning from Young Hollywood Starlet to A-List Adult with a minimum of E! True Hollywood Story episodes along the way.

I think I’ll wrap this up with a reality star just to prove that not every young woman who lives her life out on TV is evil. How about that Lo from Laguna Beach and The Hills? She may only be a part time reality star—and maybe that’s why she seems the most down to earth—but she’s got brains, beauty, and sarcasm ... a dangerous combination.

Brava!

P.J.R.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOG!

In honor of the blog’s first birthday, here are the Simon Pulse Ro-Com authors’ fave lines from their books. What are some of yours?

Niki Burnham

From ROYALLY JACKED:
"Exactly two weeks, one day, and ten hours ago, my mother completely ruined my life."

From SPIN CONTROL:
"He gave me a half-hour lecture on the risks of fracturing my molars with the stud (doesn't "fracture my molar with a stud" sound vaguely kinky?), though he did stop short of reaching into my mouth to remove it."

From DO-OVER:
"Nothing beats a butt-ugly feather dress--which the entertainment reporters are bound to note costs the equivalent of a year's college tuition--for getting guy frustration out of my system."

From SCARY BEAUTIFUL:
"Who ends a relationship of two and a half years in an airport over scrambled eggs and French toast?"

Jennifer Echols

From MAJOR CRUSH:
“And that’s how I came to be riding back from Gadsden late Saturday evening with Mom, Allison’s mom, Allison, and a pageant trophy the size of a refrigerator.” (p. 196)

From THE BOYS NEXT DOOR:
“Strange that the lips were so soft in such an edgy boy.” (p. 213)

Aimee Friedman

From A NOVEL IDEA:
"Boys are boys, and books are books, and sometimes, it's best to have a little bit of both." (p. 234)

Kelly McClymer

From GETTING TO THIRD DATE:
"Who knew that Shakespeare knew all about crushes gone wrong way back in the Dark Ages?" (p. 202)

P.J. Ruditis

From LOVE, HOLLYWOOD STYLE:
Tracy and her best friend, Liz, talking about ro-com movie cliches:
"A lot of the time the women in these movies are klutzes. Amanda Bynes can hardly take two steps without falling over something. Usually herself."
"That's because most romantic comedies are written by men who don't understand women enough to give them actual flaws to reflect the three-dimensional beings that we are," Liz said.
"And because watching people fall down is funny," I added.
"Exactly."

Wendy Toliver

From THE SECRET LIFE OF A TEENAGE SIREN:
“Unless my life has been one big Scooby-Doo cartoon and I've been wearing a band geek disguise for sixteen years, then maybe ... possibly ... perhaps there's a grain of truth to this whole Siren thing.”

Back to Brooklyn!

I was born in Brooklyn.

I tend to wear that like a badge of honor, proud to be part of a place with such a rich heritage (and strange accent!). But the truth is, I haven't lived in Brooklyn since I was nine, and that was more years ago than I care to post on this blog. In fact, I've lived in my Upper West Side Manhattan apartment longer than I've lived anywhere else in my life.

But I still don't claim to be a Manhatanite. That kind of sophistication--knowing just what accessories go with which little black dress or black slacks, or black skirt and jacket (people wear a lot of black in Manhattan)-- just isn't where I'm at. In fact, right now I'm in a pair or ripped cargo pants and a Grateful Dead concert shirt, which I actually dared to wear to the flea market across the street! I guess the fact that both my parents still don't have any idea where to put the Rs in words (somehow soda still comes out soder, while car still sounds like cah), or the fact that our favorite family book is called When Brooklyn was the World, keeps me attached to that outer borough. Is it any wonder that I drag my kids to Brighton Beach for real Russian food, or insist they ride the rickety old Cyclone every summer? (Alas, Coney Island is changing fast, and the ride may soon be a thing of the past, but that's another story for another blog).

All of this explains why I was so thrilled to be asked to speak at the Brooklyn Museum's Book Fair on November 17. I speak all over the country, at schools, book festivals, and conventions, but this one is kind of special. Let me tell you, my folks were really excited. Even though they don't live in Brooklyn any more, like me, they still have that umbilical cord firmly attached to our little house in Mill Basin, or the old apartment on Ocean Parkway. So if you're in the New York are on that autumn day, (and who doesn't love Autumn in New York), come on out and say hello.

When it Rains ...

I was feeling pretty good about myself earlier today. I was tending two little boys (so I had 5 boys in all, ages 7, 5, 4, 2, and 1) and they were all eating PB&J lunches. Then I happened to look outside, where my usually red and light yellow dogs were now dark brown and black, prancing around in a mysterious liquid that was splattered all over the deck.

Paint.

We're having some stucco repairs done and the stucco guys left the paint out. Yes, they are fully aware we have dogs.

So of course by now my baby is fussing for more noodles, and the other kids' faces and hands are covered with cupcake frosting (from a birthday party yesterday), and every second my deck and railing are being stamped by more dog prints and tail-whips.

I put the dogs in their kennel, called the contractor to tell him what was happening, then scrambled around scrubbing faces, scooping noodles, and wiping up paint footprints on the tile ( My 4 year old "didn't hear" me say to stay inside.)

In five minutes, two men were here to scrub. I'm still waiting for the deck to dry, but I think they got it all. All's well that ends well, right? Guess I can cross "scrub down deck" off my to-do list!

Getting Out More

I'm in rehearsal for play here in Tucson, my second thespian endeavor in the last few years if you count my stint at Old Tucson Studios in 2005. It's a really adult play, and I portray a bisexual character who is everyone else's psychiatrist. The director keeps trying to convince all the actors, most of whom are a lot younger than me, to go for the nudity in the script. But I'm only down to my bathrobe. I'm also doing stand-up comedy and as many speaking engagements as I can muster, since deciding to come out of Novelist Hermit mode. It helps that the kids are just about raised -- got to get the youngest one to age of 18 in December and at least out of high school.

If any of you happen to be in Tucson this weekend, I'm speaking at a couple of public libraries with SF author Timothy Zahn. (I know I should get these in sooner.)


Timothy Zahn and John Vornholt
Saturday, Sept. 22, noon - 4 pm
Dusenberry-River Branch Library
5605 E. River Rd.
and
Sunday, Sept. 23, 1 - 5 pm
Joel D. Valdez Main Library
101 N. Stone Ave.

As usual, you can catch me doing karaoke all over town.

CG

Yaaaaarg!

It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Some holidays, they leave me cold, ye hearties. But Old Salty Echols'll always save a place in me heart for Talk Like a Pirate Day. On this day last year, Old Echols started writin' The Boys Next Door in earnest. That's why Adam be wearing' a skull-and-crossbones necklace. (Look close at the cover, mateys, and you'll see that thar booty.) And THAT be leadin' to Adam bein' the swashbuckler he is. Savvy?

Yo to the ho to the ho!

Please and thank you

You can take the girl out of Jersey...
Wait, scratch that.
Apparently, you really *can't*.
Today my brother and I attended the second annual Princeton Children's Book Festival, sponsored by the Princeton Public Library. Although I'm mostly known for my teen writing, this was a proper children's book fair, in that most participating authors write and/or illustrate picture books or chapter books. So while I brought and displayed all of my ro coms, of course, I was really there to shill the etiquette book I wrote last fall, MIND YOUR MANNERS, DICK & JANE.

Actually, most parents I met were more familiar with Dick and Jane than their children were, since they grew up learning to read with Dick, Jane, Sally, and Spot. But in the past few years, Grosset & Dunlap (also the home of the original Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys) has revived the property, reissuing old favorites and creating new content for a whole new generation of readers. While MANNERS contains a bunch of practical advice for being on one's best behavior, it's very tongue in cheek and intentionally irreverent. So I was THRILLED to find that my reading (wherein I was graciously assisted by brother Dave in a cheeky call-and-response format) was a huge success.

Most parents I spoke to today told me that MANNERS was a book that their kids really need! But when Dave and I launched into "Do's and Don't's for a Happy Household (DO: Share your toys, DON'T: Share your toothbrush), we were met with laughter from an audience of all-ages.

Good humor--and good manners--have no expiration date, huh?

Spectators Behaving Badly

School's back in! School's back in! Yay, school!

(Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know that made you want to retch. I NEVER felt that way about school starting!)

One of the most annoying things about the first weeks back school, to me, occurs when teachers and administrators present you with a list of (presumably self-evident) don'ts for school. Things you've heard for years, such as, "Don't leave the building without stopping by the office" or "Don't steal books from the library." Since the first day of school often coincides with the first big sporting events of the year, I thought I'd devote today's blog to a more useful back-to-school topic: The Don'ts of Watching Sports. (Not that you'd ever engage in annoying sports-watching behavior, of course.)

These suggestions are meant to help you from becoming a social pariah while watching your favorite sports teams win games this fall. (And if YOU have suggestions that are missing from this list, post 'em!)

Niki's Don't List:

1) Don't do the cell phone wave. You've probably seen this behavior during televised games. There's one guy standing in the middle of the bleachers while everyone else is seated, talking on his cell phone and waving to the camera, presumably to show his friends (who are watching at home) that he's cool enough to be at the game. This happens at least once during every single game I watch, whether it's a high school football game on my local cable network or a major league baseball game on Fox Sports. Here's the thing: the friends you're calling think it's goofy rather than cool. That's why they're egging you on, not because they think you're impressive on screen. It's their job to laugh at you and this is a prime opportunity. Everyone else finds it annoying. Sit down and pocket the phone.

2) Don't confuse bleachers with your living room and/or automobile. Private conversations are best held in private places, like your home, your car, or when you're out on a walk and know for an absolute fact there's no one else within hearing range. When you're sitting at a sports event, the people around you can hear everything you say. For instance: if you're a lawyer (or possibly a law student) and your name starts with A., and you were sitting in section 142 at the Red Sox/Orioles game in Fenway a couple weeks ago, the entire section wants to warn your boyfriend M. to run away. They know exactly what you think of him. So does most of section 143. They discussed it while you and your BFF went to get more beer. While your conversation would have been perfectly appropriate for the car ride home (hey, these are the things friends share), it is not something you probably wanted to broadcast.

3) Don't assume you know who's nearby. This is closely related to #2. When you're watching a game, you have no idea who may have slipped into the row behind you when you were focused on the ball moving down the field. Sports, by their nature, involve crowds and noise. That means it's very easy for someone to sit down behind you, where they can hear every word you say, without you even being aware of the fact. Exercise caution.

4) Don't pretend to understand the game if you're clueless. Now, it's perfectly acceptable to attend a game even if you're not an expert on that particular sport. (I love going to soccer games, but I can't figure out all the ways someone gets offsides, despite having it explained to me and pointed out in games more times than I can count.) If you're in the stands and confused, take a clue from the folks around you and cheer when they cheer. Quietly ask a knowledgeable friend to explain things you don't understand. But don't fake knowledge. The girl who talks loudly about how it was awesome when the quarterback kicked the ball through the uprights for a touchdown is going to regret it later. Trust me on this.

5) Don't forget to have fun. Sports fans can get intense. But do you really need any more stress in your life? Enjoy yourself! (Besides, if your team gets crushed, there's always next year.)

Princeton Children's Book Festival

Prizes and books and swag, oh my! Come hear myself and thirty other children's book authors and illustrators read at the Princeton Children's Book Festival this Saturday. A sneak peek of TRIBE will be available, as will the chance to meet and schmooze with brother Dave.

http://www.princeton.lib.nj.us/children/index.html

Greetings and Salutations!

Hi. My name is P.J. Ruditis and I’m a write-aholic. I’d like to thank Jenn for bringing this community together. I am thrilled to join this group in anticipation of the release of my Ro Com, LOVE, HOLLYWOOD STYLE (Premiering in January 2008). It’s the story of a movie studio tour guide who thinks she’s found the perfect formula for romance, but quickly realizes that true love doesn’t always follow a script.

Since I’m introducing myself, I might as well explain how I got here. I started out working in licensed publishing for a major motion picture and TV studio that shall remain nameless (because I feel that discretion is of paramount importance). This was when I first had the chance to work with the amazing editors at Simon & Schuster from the other side of the book process. It was my job to oversee the development of movie novelizations as well as the book series for TV shows like Sabrina, The Teenage Witch. And, really, who can ask for a better job than one that combines books with television?! But no matter how fun it was, it was still a job. Several years ago, I decided to leave the corporate drudgery to pursue my passion for writing and those same editors at S&S—to whom I will always be indebted—were the first to hire me.

I should also mention that, while I did oversee the Sabrina, The Teenage Witch book line—and the spin off, Salem’s Tails—I was introduced to the work of some really great authors, including a few that are part of this very blog. (Yes, Ms. Krulik, I’m talking about you. And you too ... um ... Ms. Goode.) And, of course, I had the opportunity to get to know some wonderful editors who became equally wonderful authors and amazingly wonderful friends (Hi, Micol!). So, around here, I may be the new kid on the block (Dance Break! Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh ... the right stuff) but I feel like I’m already familiar with the neighborhood.

But enough about me (and washed up eighties boy bands). Since so much of my past work has been related to television, let’s talk some more about that fun subject. (Because what better place to talk about TV than in a blog devoted to books!) With the fall TV season almost upon us—and we’ve sadly lost the likes of the Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars from our season passes (not that I have TiVo, but I like to pretend I’m current)—what new shows are you all most looking forward to use as an excuse for a work or homework break?

For me, the top of the list has to be Chuck. Not because the show was created by Josh Schwartz, the man who taught us the way they do things in The O.C. And not because it has a great premise and a talented leading man. No. I’m into this one because the lead character works at a place that is an unabashed homage to a huge electronics chain store, which they’re calling ... wait for it ... Buy More! Is that not the most perfect name for a store ... ever?

So, how about all of you? What shows are you anxiously awaiting?

CH...CH...CH...CHANGES

My first book for Simon Pulse (GETTING TO THIRD DATE, pictured) was about a young woman who was trying to adjust to a whole new world of college life. This was a natural topic for me as I've literally never left the university life since I was dropped off at my dorm room in Dickinson Hall of the University of Delaware by my mom and dad (who said, "Don't come home on the weekends. Talk to people." ...very wise advice, btw). So I went to school for my BA in English, went back for a BA in Biology (which I did not earn, due to circumstances outside of my control -- my dh got a job teaching at a different state university), dabbled with grad school while working at said different state university, watched my oldest get her psych degree at same, am watching my middle work his way through same, and....ta da...dropped my youngest off at his (still local, but private) college last Saturday (those dorm rooms are *small*).

He hasn't had a lot of luck with school (dyslexia is a certified pain in the brain, he can attest). But this school, I hope, will be different. Not just because it is hands-on learning in a field he loves. Not just because the other students will be interested in and value the same things as my son. But because there are certain times in our lives when we get new chances to embrace big change and demand more of ourselves. College is one of those times.

There are two things that reminded me how much change is headed his way: (1) the warning about how expensive the equipment he is about to get his hands on actually is (ye gods, boy of mine, you better not break *anything*); and the fact that they say his name correctly (it isn't a hard name, but it is similar to a more popular name). His former school district couldn't get his name right...ever...in thirteen years. I stopped trying to correct them after a while. I figured they all, collectively, had a hearing discrimination issue and I try to respect other people's frailties (I, myself, can't remember faces very well at all, which is very embarrassing at times).

I'm not sure my son quite realizes how much his life is about to change (the teachers warned us to give them all three weeks to adjust). He's a 'dip a toe in the water to test it out' kind of kid. When he was little, he was afraid of our steep narrow dark stairs. He would not go down without holding onto my hand, or else he would drop to his bottom on the floor about three feet from the stairs and then scoot to the edge of the stairway, and inch his way down by sitting firmly on each stair (bounce, bounce, bounce, you'd be surprised how fast a toddler can get at that :-). And then, one day, without warning, he started running down stairs. That's what change is like for him. So, as his mom, I'm waiting for the familiar "I can handle this!" look on his face. I know it will come out of nowhere. I know I'll say something about it, the first time I see it, and he'll look at me and grin that same grin he gave me when I praised him for learning to handle our stairs like a big kid. And I'll grin back with that "I knew you could do it!" grin. Just like we have done through so many changes.

I know there are lots of people making changes, and wondering if they are good. So...change is hard, but one sign that it may be change for the better is when they get your name right without any prompting at all.

Kelly

Everyone's favorite four-letter word

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