Thursday, May 08, 2008

Stacy and Clinton, come and get me!

If you've read The Boys Next Door, you know how I love the TV show What Not to Wear. I watch it every single day at lunch. My husband Joey actually got me hooked on it. Pre-Joey, I never cared what I wore. You were likely to find me in my glasses, a T-shirt, ratty jeans, and Birkenstocks. You still are, when Joey is out of town. But Joey is a salesman. He knows better than anyone that first impressions are everything, and clothes are a big part of first impressions.

So, at his behest, I have studied What Not to Wear. I have bought myself some fitted jackets with nipped waistlines. But I will always have a soft spot for the poor folks on the show who just can't bring themselves to throw that Mickey Mouse T-shirt in the trash, no matter how hard Stacy and Clinton pull on it. I know the feeling. Here are just a few of the well-loved pieces my wardrobe would be better off without.

The cropped cargo pants. These are only a year old. Trouble is, I have worn them every day since I bought them. They are getting holey. I keep sewing them up, like I am Laura Ingalls Wilder and I have to make do mending my old clothes until Pa brings in the harvest and takes me to town to trade the grain for broadcloth.

The praying mantis shirt. It's not old, either, but I've worn it so much that it has faded from black to gray. I don't care. I love this shirt. I love it so much that I wore it when I took a picture of myself with my camera phone sat for my Fancy Professional Author Portrait, see?

How often do you come across a comfy T-shirt with a praying mantis embroidered on it? Once in a lifetime, I tell you. If it weren't for the praying mantis, I wouldn't have bought it, because I hate to wear shirts with foreign languages on them. I am scared of what it might say. Probably the Chinese characters stand for, "Praying mantis!" but for all I know, they might say, "Americans undervalue foreign language education!"

The sleep shorts. No, I do not wear these out. Joey wants me to get rid of them anyway, just on principle, because they are 20 years old. My friend Amy made them for me when we were in college at Auburn.

The T-shirt from 1987. This one speaks for itself, doesn't it? And finally...

The T-shirt from 1984. In case you cannot read funky disco lettering, it says "BRHS JAZZ," and wearing this T-shirt when I was a high school freshman meant I played saxophone in the COOL band with the SENIORS. I ran with the big dogs, yo.

How about you? Is your closet up to date, or would Stacy and Clinton run away screaming?


Steph said...

I'm a jeans + slim fitting tee type of girl :) Not exactly a fashion victim, but I could list at least ten things that trump my wardrobe, far as my priorities go.


Nicole Burnham said...

I am a What Not To Wear junkie, too, though I'm sure Stacy and Clinton would have a field day with my closet. I have too many old T-shirts. I don't wear them often, but I can't part with them, either. (And I was so glad Stacy and Clinton framed that girl's Mickey T for her and let her keep it!)

My Mickey Mouse T-shirt equivalent is a lime green shirt I got my sophomore year of high school, while I lived in Germany. It is SO eighties. I haven't worn it once since high school, but I can't part with it. Probably because it's the first clothing item I bought with my own $$!

I also have a pair of wool Benetton pants I got in high school. Same deal--they're totally eighties, but I bought 'em with my own (meager) earnings back then, so they stay in my closet.

Jennifer Echols said...

Oooh, Benetton! I don't have any now, but I did have a blue-boobed baboon shirt that I bought on the senior class trip to England and kept for a very long time (because how often do you get the opportunity to buy a blue-boobed baboon shirt?). Niki, you totally get it.

Micol Ostow said...

OMG, are you kidding? Now that I'm a full time freelancer, I live in two modes: Leaving the House, and Not Planning On Leaving the House. Today I'm in sweats and I'm basically proud of myself for not being in pjs. :)

Isn't it sad when favorite pieces of clothing finally kick the bucket?

Jennifer Echols said...

Today I'm in sweats and I'm basically proud of myself for not being in pjs.

I admire your attitude. My critique partner and I congratulate each other when we take a shower before noon.